Damned if you do...

Hazel got a new apartment, an apartment I am desperately jealous of.  It's old and oddly shaped and had the greatest bathroom I may have ever seen, other than the fact that the toilet paper dispenser is directly behind the toilet.  Inconvienent, that is.  But during the tour of her new digs, we had this conversation.

Hazel: And that's my fire escape.

Me:  Ew.  That would freak me out.  Especially since it's in the bedroom.

Hazel:  What?  Why would that freak you out?  Fire Escapes are cool!  I'm excited to have one.

Me:  I would just be super paranoid of someone crawling up one.  you know, while I was sleeping. 

Hazel: Aw, no.  it's ok.  There's a giant gate and fence at the bottom.  no one's getting past that thing.

Me: So...if there's actually a fire you get trapped in a gated area?

Hazel:  What? No, dude.  there's a key.  Wait.  I think there's a key.  There better be a key! 

And I discovered something to be happy about while living in my parents' house.  I will most likely not die crushed/burned to death against a small gated area, overlooking freedom but unable to obtain it. 

Comments

[Lies]

I don't even have a fire escape! But then I'm only on the second floor and isn't it from the sixth floor up that you are guaranteed a relatively instant death? All I'll probably get is singed hair and a broken leg.

When I was living abroad, there was a fire escape in the house I was staying in, but it could only be reached through the one room in the guesthouse that hadn't been rented out (and was therefore locked). I lived on the third floor, which was peaceful and quiet, but what did freak me out a bit was that for some reason, over there, they don't like windows that can actually open.

Which meant that when a certain someone started cooking a midnight snack and halfway through decided to go back to bed and let his noodles burn to a cinder, we didn't even have a way of airing the rooms after the firemen had gone away. And boy, did they need airing! (The place didn't burn down or anything, there was just a hell of a lot of smoke.)

[Rachel]

superweak. I live in my parents' basement, which means that I have to run upstairs to escape a fire. and my parents and I are all pack rats, making it quite the obstacle course to get through. but overall, I still just think that fire escapes are creepy. I don't know. Denver doesn't have too many of them anyway, so I think I also just view them as sort of exotic and quaint at the same time.

[online jobs]

Hazel got a revamped residence, a residence I am urgently envious of. It's old and strangely shaped and had the most fantastic bathroom I would have ever perceived, different than the way that the tissue distributor is straightforwardly old-fashioned.